Random Quote #95 topic: privates, No, not promoted recruits. The naughty bits, that people aren't supposed to talk about. Body parts and functions. (Note that "size" has nothing to do with sex, so size jokes are all in here).

This 600-pound guy decides he can't go on living this way, so he seeks
the help of a clinic and proceeds to go on a drastic diet. It works: four
months later he's down to 160 pounds and feeling great, except for one problem.
He's covered with great folds of flesh where the fat used to be. He calls
up the clinic, and the doctor tells him not to worry. "There's a special
surgical procedure to correct this condition," the doctor assures him. "Just
come on over to the clinic."
"But doctor," the man pleads, "you don't understand. I'm too
embarrassed to be seen in public like this."
"Don't give it another thought," says the doctor. "Simply pull up
all the folds as high as they'll go, pile the flesh on top of your head, put
on a top hat, and come on over."
The guy follows the instructions and provokes no comments until he
reaches the clinic and is standing in front of the admitting nurse's desk,
dying of self-consciousness. "The doctor will be right with you," says the
nurse. "Say, what's that hole in the middle of your forehead?"
"My navel," blurts out the guy, "how d'ya like my tie?"


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There is a simple script that displays a random message from a database of quotes (as in well-know fortunes game). This version is bundled with quotations from The Bible, The Talmud, The Koran, poetry, prose, famous people and books, humorous items.

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